Hello, my name is ScurvyDog, and I'm playing bad poker, and need to take a wee little break.
I think I knew this, even when making grandusands last month taking shots at higher limits. This month hasn't been great, leaving me down a few grandusands already, but the fact that I'm playing badly is what bothers me the most, making bad calls and ridiuclous bluffs, knowing they want work as I click the button, doing it anyway.
I apologize, too, for much of the sarcastic bastardness in my last few posts about taxes. I act like an idiot all the time, in many ways, and the last thing I want is to discourage people from pointing that out, so I can stop acting like an idiot. The tax stuff was more a lack of original details on my part but I don't want to sound like a sarcastic asshole who knows everything there is to know in the world. Because I don't, and in many cases I need help in pointing out my idiotic ways.
Not sure how to resolve my biggest issue with poker of late, which is the diminishing satisfaction return. There's a decent amount of literature out there about the physical effects that winning and losing at gambling has on your brain, as far as gamblers eventually developing a tolerance to the happy juice the brain produces when winning.
So your highs gradually diminish over time, and accomplishments that once set you buzzing for weeks (like final tabling a big MTT) not only don't produce a buzz, but are actually a drag on your mood, as all you see is the money you "lost" by not winning the tournament.
I'm also getting lazy of late, and not pushing myself to learn anything, and simply mashing buttons, more than anything. When I lose, I still beat myself up, but when I win, I largely shrug. Not a good recipe for success.
So I'm going to take a break for a few weeks from the online poker. Nothing serious. Get back to reading and studying, and, you know, thinking again. Play with the rat. get much stuff done aroud the house. Actually, maybe, gasp, cook a meal or two.