Thursday, June 07, 2007

Thanks for All the Good Times, Yahoo Mail

Ever since I was a wee yonug lad, Yahoo Mail has been right there by my side. It was the first email account I ever had, and despite that sulty Gmail slinking around, beckoning with a glistening red fingernail, I've stayed true to good ol' Yahoo Mail, through thick and thin.

So it brings me much sadness and heartache to finally have to bid you adieu, Yahoo Mail. Usually people trot out the "No no, it's me, not you. I'm just in a weird place these days and need to spend some time alone, finding myself" speech, but, umm, sorry. It's all about you this time.

While I'm willing to wade through a goodly amount of spam for the use of a completely free service that you provide me, I can't wade through 50+ spam emails a day. Why the lottery spam folks have been able to bring you to your knees when so many others failed, I do not know, but I just can't deal with 172,182 emails a day from Yahoo/MSN UK Lottery letting me know that I'm the luckiest monkey on the face of the earth, winning a non-existent, completely non-sensical "lottery" that I never entered.

I gave you a few weeks, assuming you'd be able to get up to speed and start blocking such stuff, but not only is it getting worse each week, now for some reason I cannot fathom you're sending completely legitimate emails to the spam folder. A completely innocuous email from my wife (with nary a word in it to trigger a spam filter) is labeled as spam, yet 184 exactly identical emails from Mr Patrick K.W Chan letting me know that "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS HAS WON:250,000.00 GBP(Our grand prize)." are considered perfectly legitimate and delivered to my inbox.

Sorry baby. I tried, you tried, it just didn't work out. If you see me out and about with Gmail, well, how about not causing a scene, mmkay? That'd be super.

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