Juicy Juice

Barry Bonds, you can suck my rod.

I like sports. Pretty much any sport. Hell, if I'm truly desperate, I'll even watch golf.

I'm not a purist, I could care less about the sanctity of games or records, I just like to be entertained. That's it. I like watching players compete, like following the action, like being a fan.

In my mind, anything goes, that's not banned or illegal. You want to juice up? Juice up. As long as the rules allow it at the time. I could care less that it makes comparisons between players of different eras different, that it inflates stats, that it supposedly "taints" the game. That's picking nits.

If you want to pick nits, modern day salaries of professional athletes do exactly the same thing, as far as making comparisons well-nigh impossible. You simply cannot be a professional athlete and eat three boxes of Ding Dongs a day, never working out, if you want to continue to be a professional athlete and retain the salary that you're provided. Thus you work harder, train harder, and condition yourself to a level that was largely unheard of in the past.

So yeah. Do whatever gives you an edge, as long as it's allowed. But if you're going to take steroids, be man enough to admit it. Not just when you're in front of a grand jury and forced to.

Get off your high horse, Barry. Look at yourself. Better yet, look at some photos/video of yourself earlier in your career with the Pirates. Then look in the mirror. We all know where that body came from. You know it. Hell, you've already admitted yourself that you "accidentally" took steroids.

For someone who has repeatedly claimed, in both behavior and words, that they could give a damn about records, could give a damn about whether fans like or respect them, you're suddenly coming across as an awfully scared, selfish little man, beneath all that bluster. Is it really that painful to consider that hitting 756 home runs may be tainted now? That instead of being considered the all-time home run king you'll be considered an insanely talented baseball player who took steroids and hit a ton of home runs?

Well, dawg, guess what? It's door number for you now. And it's no one's fault but your own. And there's not a damn thing you can do about it. You can, though, stand up and be a man and at least accept the responsibility for it. Or was all that talk just more bluster, about what a man you are, about how you depend on no one but yourself, about how hard you've worked to be the player the you, the man you are?

To recap: suck my rod.