Sweet Blogger

Oh Blogger, how I loathe thee. Yes, indeed, I can simply move over to my own domain somewhere and install WordPress in about 0.2 seconds and be much, much happier, but unfortunately we're tied together by all sorts of SEO-related bonds that I don't want to break.

So here we sit, in a loveless marriage, in which none of your promised features and enhancements work. I appreciate that you're making an effort to make things work, but in the end it just disappoints me even more. Yes, that "automatically save drafts" feature is a nice carrot to dangle, but only IF IT WORKS. I see your little automated, reassuring message that you're currently auto-saving my draft, but when I actually need that feature to rescue my last post when you screwed something up, THERE'S NO DRAFT SAVED.

You realize this is infinitely worse, yes, than the old days when you'd just crash and I'd at least have myself to partially blame for not periodically copy and pasting my post?

And don't get me started on your "Word Verification" enhancement. I swear to Jebus that I have to type it in approximately 14 times, every single post, before you'll accept it. And no, I'm not mistyping it. I'm more than capable of correctly typing in five letters. You simply refuse to accept it, ever, the first two times I type it in. That's why these days I don't even try anymore, simply typing in "DIE WHOREMONGER DIE!" in the box the first few times, as I know you'll never accept it anyway, even if I type it correctly, and only make an effort the third time, when you merrily accept my ability to type in FIVE FREAKING LETTERS and publish my post.

Except for the times when you have yet another breakdown and don't, in fact, publish my post. Nor save a draft of it, despite claiming you did exactly that 192,837 times while I was typing it.

So, you know, thanks a pantload. Yes, your ass looks fat in those jeans. Yes, I've been humpng the neighbor's wife for the last two years. We both know we'll be sitting right here tomorrow, regardless of what I say, so no more pretense, mmkay?

(If you eat this post I swear to Jebus it's over.)