Slowrollers Make the Baby Jebus Weep

(Just a quick public service announcment to anyone taking my advice on casino bonuses. Reef Club just changed their signup bonus to a ridiculous 200xbonus wagering requirement to withdraw it, rendering it basically useless. I took it out of the guide but if you're planning on doing it, don't. Unless you just like to gamble, that is, and don't care about the bonus money, etc.)

Last night was interesting. I was chipping away at the latest Party reload, mainly playing Omaha, but I had one $50 NL shorthanded table open. I'd pretty much treaded water there for about an hour, up a little, down a little, etc. There was one complete moron at the table, with the standard Rounders-based screenname, who had been acting like an ass for about half an hour, demanding to know what people had, using the entire clock before acting, just generally being an ass.

I was just a few bucks over $50, about to close the table and call it a night, when I get dealt AdKs on the button. UTG (who'd been playing pretty rightly) bets out $4, everyone folds to me. My first impulse was to just fold, as I hate getting involved in hands when I've mentally shut it down for the night. But then I said "Self, grow a sack", and raised it to $8, just to see where we were. Chattering Moron cold calls from the BB and UTG calls.

Flop is Qc 2d 3d. UTG bets $5. Again, my impulse is to just let it go, call it a night. But he's substantially underbetting the pot, and I've got overcards, including the Ad. I'm putting him on something like 1010, JJ, maybe AQs or KQs. I just call, telling myself I'll let it go on the turn if nothing promising develops. Chattering Moron also calls.

Turn is 5d. Interesting. UTG again bets $5 into a ~$40 pot. I decide to get jiggy and try to take it down right here, with the parachute of the potential A high diamond flush on the river if anyone calls. I pop it to $20. Chattering Moron types into chat, over and over, twenty times at least, "Wot u got?". Finally he calls, right before the timer expires. UTG folds.

River is Kd. Woot. I push the rest of my stack in. Chattering Moron goes off, typing "Str flush, u got owned" over and over, calling me every misspelled variation of every epithet imaginable, using every second on the timer before he calls, flipping over 4d6d, for the straight flush.

The bright side of the story is that I mainly found it funny, for some odd reason. I didn't point out that he cold called a $8 raise pre-flop with 4d6d, that he literally held the exact two cards that could beat my hand (I had the Ad that completed the lower end of the straight flush). I don't think I played the hand that particularly well and I should have just shut it down for the night when I decided to.

More than that, though, I just felt sorry for the guy. I just typed "nh" and logged off. Which is interesting, as normally my monkey rage at seeing an idiot squirrel dart through the bars of the cage and steal my banana would squash any such feelings. But man, how pitiful is that, all the way around. Slowrolling is bad enough but it's even more pitiful when that's all you've got, talking smack on PartyPoker. Enjoy that 50 bones, rounderzman. You did, indeed, own me. No arguing that.

Not much else exciting going on. Still grinding away, still clearing assorted bonuses, still slowly but steadily building the stash. Working on a couple of larger articles, hopefully to be posted soon.