Where Does the Time Go?

The one year anniversary of this here thing managed to slip by without me even noticing, as I started blogging here back in August 2004. I'm pretty amazed I've kept this thing rolling, which speaks more to the addictive, crack-like nature of poker than anything else.

I've always had a love-hate relationship with writing, despite the MFA in Creative Writing I have moldering in my desk drawer. Well, that's a lie, as my desk doesn't even have drawers and I have absolutely no idea where my official diploma type thing is at. I enjoy writing fiction but I would swallow hot, glowing coals before I'd ever call myself a writer. Hypothetically speaking, I'd love to write books for a living, yet, simultaneously, the idea of writing books for a living (and the attendent, necessary crippety-crap) makes me shiver with fear. Blogging is just about the gayest, most navel-gazingest thing I can imagine, yet here I am, blogging away nearly every day.

Damn you, poker. I blame it all on you, sucking me into the world of blogging, and keeping me there for so long.

It's pretty crazy to read old posts here, as far as the particular arc of my little fling with poker. While I'm feeling more than a bit burned out in general lately, there's something to be said for pulling back a bit and looking at the big picture. I don't think of myself as a particularly skilled poker player, more as a stubborn, competitive person who will keep grinding away at something until I get it right.

Have I gotten it right? Absolutely not.

But there is something to be said for the fact that after I raided the bankroll for wedding/honeymoon funds at the beginning of last November, I essentially sat back down after the honeymoon with $100 to work with, playing .50/1 limit. Now I'm sitting at 15/30 with a comfortable roll, taking an occasional stab at 30/60 (shh), and grinding out a sum of money each month that's typically 1.5-2x what my day job pays.

To be fair, fair lady poker isn't responsible for all of that, as casino bonus goodness has kicked in more than its fair share, especially at the beginning of the bankroll rebuilding process. But hell, it's all degenerate gambling, so lumped it shall be.

That's not a bad year, all things considered. Especially since it pales in comparison to the general overall +Happiness that the last year of married life has produced. I need to keep in mind the distance traveled more often, instead of feeling like a failure somehow because I'm not measuring up to some of the poker success stories you hear and read about, as far as people crushing 30/60, raking in hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, winning major tournaments, etc.

So yeah. That's all you get today. Self-congratulatory navel-gazing. Ha.