Thursday, February 23, 2006

"Jeepers, Mr. Cross, Kool Aid Consumption is Peaking in Austin, Texas!"

Never have I heard the words "win", "leverage", "unified", and "synergistic" used more often than in our company meeting today. Especially "win". "Winning" is very, very important. It doesn't matter if you're not involved in, you know, an event with an actual outcome that is determined, with a "winner" and "loser". Because, see, we all "win" by being acting like "winners", in amorphous, never-defined ways that only "winners" know and recognize.

Too bad I wasn't a "winner" last night at the poker tables. I ended up just about dead even, but only because I was a donkey and successfully chased losses at higher limits. Just one of those frustrating nights where I started off well and then get buried under a deluge of second-best hands.

This half-assed entry is brought to you by Boredom, Crushing which has me in its grips and won't let go.


Alan said...

I've found that businesses like to create desireable traits with nebulous definitions and then use said traits to show how you are not performing well. At one place I worked it was "ownership mentality". Anytime you brought up a problem with something you were accused of not having "ownership mentality". If you asked what was meant by "ownership mentality" you were told that you would know what it means if you have it. Eventually I decided that "ownership mentality" meant that I owned my skills, not them, and I could rent those skills out to someone else.

Maybe being a "winner" involves working for a company that knows how to accurately measure an employee's value.

Boardet said...

Hehe, chasing losses. We are all guilty of that sometimes. GL next session.

Garthmeister J. said...

Whenever someone talks about being a "winner" in a corporate setting, I talk about putting my "foot" up someone's "arse".

That's about the time I get sent to "sensitivity training".

Human Head said...

You should use that time to ask, "What about parallel synergistic sucking paradigms?"

When they look at you like they have no idea what you just said, let them know that if they weren't in the middle of creating one they would know.

Then inform them that you deserve "kudos"

Meek said...

I thought you were leaving this job?