Poker Madness: Live Blogging, Bachelor Style

7:30 PM: ScurvyWife is in Dallas until Sunday, visiting her parents, so I get to kick it old school for a day or two. Which basically consists of ordering pizza, not bathing or wearing pants, and playing much poker.

I managed to get a little stuck earlier but had a nice run before dinner to unstick myself. Plan is to run MTTs on assorted sites, as I almost never get a chance to play those these days, due to the time suck involved. Makes me feel like a true degenerate to have tournaments going simultaneously on five different sites.

Of course, I haven't cashed in an MTT since what feels like the Carter administration, so mayhap this isn't the best idea in the world.

8:13 PM: Heh, 1 for 1. Just took 7th in a MTT speed tourney at Doyle's Room for $121.25. I'd like to say it's due to mad poker skillz, but those speed tourneys are pretty crapshootacular.

Have to say, though, that Doyle's may have some of the softest tournaments out there, pound for pound. You have to have the junk protector strapped on tight, as you often take some horrific beats when you get bounced out.

Also had a nice run at the 10/20 6 max tables at Pacific while I was playing the speed tourney. Poker is fun when you win.

8:33 PM: Houston, we have a problem. I just realized that the only alcohol in the house is a bottle of Arbor Mist that's been lurking in the fridge for months. I didn't buy it, have nothing to do with its existence in my home, yet there it is.

Aside from the fact that I have three tourneys going now, it's sub-zero temperatures outside. Arctic conditions. Or, you know, a balmy 35F for all of you folks that live where it truly gets cold.

Why I can get food eaten by peoples from all around the world delivered to my door, but cannot get a simple six pack of beer delivered is beyond me. This is when a monkey butler would come in really handy. Sadly I don't think Sherman the Rat is up to fetching and delivering booze.

8:56 PM: Attempted to explain importance of booze fetching to Sherman. Was met with a request for a peanut. Second attempt was unsuccessful. Attempt to bribe rat with a peanut was met with request for second peanut.

Well played, Sherman, well played.

9:26 PM: Booze problem solved with a little scrounging. We actually had a bottle of merlot stashed away, from a party that we had awhile back. So I get to be all princessy and drink wine whilst I check-raise some douchebags.

Just got bounced from the Full Tilt $16K Guaranteed. Played donkeyish for the most part, got bounced with K10s when I flopped a K and villain successfully slowplayed his set o' 3s.

Also got bounced from another speed tourney at Doyle's but am in the money in a rebuy there, with a decent stack.

9:40 PM: I just took a piss, alone, in my bathroom. Poker pros are cool and all, but if I looked over to see Greg Raymer in my bathroom while I was pissing there would be some serious problems.

10:02 PM: Cashed for a little over $250 in the last MTT I had running. Frustrating in that I took two pretty bad beats, back to back, to go out, as I had a shot to win biggish money. But money is money is money.

Man, I'm on a tear at Pacific. Definitely feels good to get there when you need to, and dodge cards when you need to, as the last few weeks it seems like I get run down by anything with a whiff of winning, and never quite get there on draws in big pots.

10:11 PM: Dude, shut the hell up about Lindsey Jacobellis already. It's snowboardcross, for Jebus' sake. That was a totally gnarly way to lose a gold medal, dude, but, umm, no one's going to care tomorrow morning. Trot out the Leon Lett clips and the obscure Jana Novotna references, but dude, stop pretending that anyone cares or will remember this next week, other than some snowboarding chick with a weirdass name totally bit it at the end.

10:38 PM: Had to get off the MTT trolley to feed the rat, at which point I realized that I hadn't had anything to eat myself. Enter cold pizza. Problem resolved.

I have to say, the rat/child surrogate is pretty damn amusing. And a good grounding tool, in general. Nothing makes his crazy rat ass happier than to be set free to runa muck throughout the house, even if for just twenty minutes or so. And yeah, it's kind of a pain in the ass to chase to crazy ass around, but dude, it's twenty minutes of my time. Plus he lives in a 24" x 36" cage, with no possible chance of female rat loving, ever. The absolute least I can do is make sure the little goober is happy, instead of begrudging the itme that I could have instead used to squeeze in 47 more folds.

11:18 PM: Couldn't summon the enthusiasm for more MTTs, so I've been bashing it out in cash games. I've been flip-flopping between 6 max and full ring games lately, and I think full ring may win out.

Hmm, I somehow forgot that Tom Green even existed, until seeing him do a guest spot on Leno for the Winter Olympics. (And that's sort of depressing, that The Tonight Show has basically become synonymous with the word "Leno".) I always sort of liked Tom Green despite myself, regardless of the fact that watching him in action always closely resembled a personal nightmare of mine, as far as some yahoo showing up and doing shit like that.

11:57 PM: I will never understand why people buy in extremely short, on sites that allow it. Buying in for $100 at a 20/20 table is closely akin to simply setting that $100 afire. You'd honestly have a better shot at booking a profit if you took that to the blackjack table.

I think the whole JJProdigy saga on Party is pretty damn amusing. I'll give Party credit for actually having cojones and seizing all of the funds in his multiple accounts (and not just the prize money from the tourney he won as his "grandmother"), but the real issue lurking behind all of that is pretty inescapable. It's really easy for people to run multiple accounts, really easy for people to collude in mid/high games, and the only reason this example came to light is that the kid was an absolute moron and was chatting about it publicly.

If you don't think people aren't quietly and smartly doing the same thing (and have been doing it for years), well, you're nutso. Monkeys are infinitely crafty when you dangle the allure of easy money in front of their noses.

12:18 PM: No stamina, whatsoever. I have been at it since about 7 this morning, though, so there is that.

Time to go read Cormac McCarthy's book Suttree for the 172,192 time. May all your pocket pairs be golden.