Friday, February 24, 2006

Kick Me in the Junk, Please

I can be an indecisive motherfucker sometimes.

So the plan had been to limp along at the soul-sucking day job, collect my bonus check, burn the excess vacation time I won't get paid for, call in sick a bunch, then put in my two weeks notice, wrapping things up at the end of April.

And it was a good plan. A fine plan. Hand-crafted tenderly by loving Amish hands.

Somewhere along the way, though, things got a little sidetracked. ScurvyWife suddenly decided that she, too, doesn't like her job. That she, too, wants to quit her job shortly, in May or June. Which is completely understandable, but it presents obstacles to my plan. Mainly that one of us needs to be gainfully employed, with benefits, for it to be comfortable for the other to take some time off from the day job grind.

And I could stick to my guns, take a few months off, play lots of poker, and roll the dice that I'd both make decent money doing so and be able to quickly find a non soul-sucking job three or four months from now, but, umm, I really don't like shooting dice. That plan is a good one when ScurvyWife is gainfully employed, as we have a nice parachute, but it suddenly becomes a bit more dicey (hah) if neither of us have a job.

Yes, it has occured to me that I could simply sack up and say "Look, we agreed to this, I've been gleefully looking forward to some time off, how about you take one for the team and not quit your job so quickly, at least until I'm back in a cubicle somewhere at a slightly less soul-sucking place?" And I could do that, and it wouldn't cause a world of upsettedness, and I'd get my wish, taking 2-3 months off, playing lots of poker, yada yada yada.

But those conditions sort of put a damper on the whole endeavor, and add a lot of expectation that wasn't there previously, as far as "justifying" my putting down of the foot. And the whole point was to be footloose and carefree for a few months, doing my degenerate thing, writing some, etc.

So, long story short, things are in limbo, to a large extent. I'm trying to convince myself that 3-6 more months at the present job won't kill me. Which it won't, but for fuck's sake, I've been saying that for nearly two years now, and here I am, saying it again.

I'm also considering a hybrid version, where I stick it out until June, scrimp and save as much as I can offline, grind out as much profit as I can online, and commit to being in Vegas for the entirety of the WSOP, either playing in as many events as I can and/or picking up some writing/reporting gigs. I'd basically condense my planned on footloose, carefree time into a couple of intense poker months, after which I'd return to the day job grind. Once I'm gainfully employed again, then ScurvyWife can take off, do the same thing, decompress for a bit, and find a better job that makes her happier.

But, you know, who knows. I'm nearly resigned to just not making any plans, at this point, and just seeing what happens. As much as I gripe at times, things are rolling along pretty well, in naerly every facet of my silly monkey life, so there's something to be said for just happily going with the flow, as there are much, much worse things in life.


fairnbalncd said...

Take care of the ScurveWife. She's a peach.

Boardet said...

I got to think of someting: You hate party, thats obvious, but why "support" the site by having a commercial at your blog?