Tuesday, April 26, 2005

I'm a Big Wheel at the Cracker Factory

Work is literally inserting a straw into my brain and sucking it out, with much vigor.

My quarterly review is looming. For this I'm supposed to compile a document that contains both my primary Aspirations and my sub Aspirations. I must have 4 primary Aspirations and at least two sub Aspirations. I think that's about all I need to say about that.

My annual review is also looming. I honestly and truly, for the first time in my working life, have no idea what's going to happen. I'm not sure I can actually sit there and keep my mouth shut, when I'm told that while I greatly exceeded all of my personal performance metrics, my actual performance rating is quite low, due to my unwillingness to "lead with confidence on my own personal journey up the most Trusted mountain".

And, you know, they're right. I'm way too busy getting work done to spend much time charting my ascent up Mt. Trusty. This is true. Bingo.

I don't mind the insanity so much when I'm not required to actively participate; I mean, it's pretty damn amusing most of the time. Lately, though, they're getting increasingly jiggy about demanding that you jump right in there with your pick, boots, and caribiner, ready to start climbing. Well, no, not even that; that'd be actually doing something. The expecation is that you'll not really ever actually do anything, just that you'll sit in meetings and endlessly talk about what you think the best route is, what the weather might be, and just how damn excited you are to be climbing with such a great group of people.

I'm not sure what the over/under is on me making it until April 2006, as planned. If any of you Austinites see the old ButterKrust building in flames on the news, you'll know that I finally snapped and got the hell out of there with my trusty Swingline stapler.


Heafy said...

I'd say it worth walking out just so you can get business cards for your new job.
"Scurvy Dog: Bonus & Affiliate Whoring Enterprises."

The more I read your non-poker stuff, the more I think I wrote it.

Human Head said...

You're so not alone, my friend. Meetings, talk, banter, some more meetings...yet nothing ever gets done :)

StudioGlyphic said...

Knowing what I know about corporate America, I'm not sure privatization of anything is the solution to anything.

The basic issue is people in large anonymous entities, whether they be corporations or governments.

Maybe we should go back to city-states or feudal manors.

TripJax said...

Not that this has anything to do with your post, but I hope you are watching that new show The Office. Good stuff.

Unfortunately, for the last 6 years I've been that guy dishing out the management BS during reviews. Thankfully, today I started a new position that doesn't involve direct employee management. Sweet!